Hey I got a new blog, it's way more coolerer... and it corrects my grammar for me...
http://garrettmaxwell.wordpress.com/
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Monday, September 7, 2009
Doubt and Fear
Recently I've been struggling with doubt. Now doubt can be a great asset but also a great enemy (which is why I've been struggling with it...). The negative side of doubt will be the current focus seeing as how it's something I've been flipping through in my mind tirelessly and it's also my blog sooo... deal.
I'm a thinker, a ponderer, an intellectual... maybe, so my mind tends to bang on all cylinders so to speak. I'm not sure about you but for me at least when a relationship or even potential relationship (romantic relationship that is) is introduced into my life there's a sort of spark. This spark kind of makes my mind goes berserk. It makes my "intellectual" side go crazy. I believe this is due mainly to my trying to use logic... all the time. Let me explain how that makes sense. Now this is just my opinion but I think that if you can use logic you must! It's the closest way to get everything out on the table, understand one another somewhat clearly, rationally solve the issue at hand, and deal the least amount of hurt/ heartbreak possible in a given scenario. While that is great and wonderful it just doesn't seem to always work in relationships as often as I may want it to. You see, I want everyone to win! I don't want to hurt someone or get hurt myself... so I try and I try to manipulate the system and use my logic, sometimes it's (being logic) all I have. But when it's all I have and it isn't working... doubt sets in. Doubt is a slippery slope. Two completely sane and intelligent people have an argument. This argument can start to morph and reshape to the point that the two said individuals begin to buy into a false sense of reality. Thoughts stray from solving a problem and move towards attacking a person. This occurs because we're slipping away from the clarity we once knew with logic and now we begin to spiral into our emotions. These individuals have moved from solving a problem, to self-glorification. They at this point feel the need to break their now "opponent" instead of the ideas that they started with. The whole problem with our emotions is that we don't know when they'll change, we're uncertain of how we'll feel about something or someone tomorrow. This is the doubt that I feel. I feel this and it causes fear in me. Now doubt makes people think irrationally but fear, fear causes us to act irrationally. We often think we can sometimes subdue, hide or at least repress our actions. Unless we truly deal with them we can't stop them but merely delay them from occurring. The reality is that actions are a representation of who we are as human beings. You can't undo actions. Thoughts can be dealt with and maybe even never known by those closest to us but actions leave a mark. It's been said that actions speak even louder than our words. So we must be so careful when we fear because it can change everything. Acting out in fear causes us to break whatever remaining bond we shared with reason or logic. We were once able to hold onto something solid but now all we have to turn to is a broken situation and our ever changing emotions which are sometimes so unstable that we can't stand up on them.
I'm a thinker, a ponderer, an intellectual... maybe, so my mind tends to bang on all cylinders so to speak. I'm not sure about you but for me at least when a relationship or even potential relationship (romantic relationship that is) is introduced into my life there's a sort of spark. This spark kind of makes my mind goes berserk. It makes my "intellectual" side go crazy. I believe this is due mainly to my trying to use logic... all the time. Let me explain how that makes sense. Now this is just my opinion but I think that if you can use logic you must! It's the closest way to get everything out on the table, understand one another somewhat clearly, rationally solve the issue at hand, and deal the least amount of hurt/ heartbreak possible in a given scenario. While that is great and wonderful it just doesn't seem to always work in relationships as often as I may want it to. You see, I want everyone to win! I don't want to hurt someone or get hurt myself... so I try and I try to manipulate the system and use my logic, sometimes it's (being logic) all I have. But when it's all I have and it isn't working... doubt sets in. Doubt is a slippery slope. Two completely sane and intelligent people have an argument. This argument can start to morph and reshape to the point that the two said individuals begin to buy into a false sense of reality. Thoughts stray from solving a problem and move towards attacking a person. This occurs because we're slipping away from the clarity we once knew with logic and now we begin to spiral into our emotions. These individuals have moved from solving a problem, to self-glorification. They at this point feel the need to break their now "opponent" instead of the ideas that they started with. The whole problem with our emotions is that we don't know when they'll change, we're uncertain of how we'll feel about something or someone tomorrow. This is the doubt that I feel. I feel this and it causes fear in me. Now doubt makes people think irrationally but fear, fear causes us to act irrationally. We often think we can sometimes subdue, hide or at least repress our actions. Unless we truly deal with them we can't stop them but merely delay them from occurring. The reality is that actions are a representation of who we are as human beings. You can't undo actions. Thoughts can be dealt with and maybe even never known by those closest to us but actions leave a mark. It's been said that actions speak even louder than our words. So we must be so careful when we fear because it can change everything. Acting out in fear causes us to break whatever remaining bond we shared with reason or logic. We were once able to hold onto something solid but now all we have to turn to is a broken situation and our ever changing emotions which are sometimes so unstable that we can't stand up on them.
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